30 Days of Pride - Day 17 Offer

Giving freely is a lesson I learned about later in life. When I was younger giving material gifts meant that I would be liked - or so I believed.

As I matured I began to see the value of offering freely. Opening my heart to others around me. One of my greatest offerings involved my differently abled daughter, Tsie. On November 9, 1992 I offered my then youngest child (5) to the care of Providence Child Center in Portland, OR. It had become too much to manage Tsie’s care needs at home.

Once the admission process was complete, paperwork signed and her things put away, we had to walk away and trust her daily care to professionals. It was a heartbreaking day for our family. I remember walking away from the facility numb not sure what to feel. I kept up a brave face in front of our sons, then 7 & 9. As an aside, the 7 year old turns 39 today. The boys needed to know we loved them and that Tsie would be just fine.

Tsie lived in the facility until she was 20 and transitioned to an adult care home. She still thrives today at 37. Offering my beloved daughter to the care of others taught me to let go and trust. It also taught me that I had much to offer in return.

Many times over the years, I was asked to volunteer for some event or task. Whenever possible I said yes. I discovered that I was a good “go to” person who would always show up. After I came out in 2003, that same willingness to show up shifted to queer community events and causes.

The richness of my life comes from years of service to community - offering what I had at any given time.